Brian Le Lay

Corned Beef & Cabbage

Boy oh boy, all this
self-righteous talk
about veganism makes me
want to strangle a cow
with my bare hands

It’s one thing to peacefully
lead your lifestyle without
infringing your beliefs
upon the world

Otherwise, we’ve got
a problem

Generally, I’ve noticed that
most people care more
about the suffering of animals
which are completely incognizant
of their own existence
than they do for
their fellow man

Let’s face it:
The only reason you care
so deeply for sheep
is because they don’t
talk back
If cows told you to go
fuck yourself, you’d fashion
a KFC bumpersticker
like nobody’s business

But animals seem more lovable
because they’re completely
simple and foreign
to the human psyche

Also, it’s some of the same people
who say “fuck politics; it’s hopeless”
and couldn’t be bothered to lift
a finger in the name of advocacy
yet they’ve done all this detailed
research about the cruel treatment
of animals in slaughterhouses

So perhaps they know more
about politics
than I thought


Return to Index